stevie martin
It feels like my faff has become a selection of kitchen knives, and they're all jangling around making me wee and massacring my insides.
in

Jan 14, 2013 at 10:00am | 35 comments

stevie martin
When everyone else is busy, it’s all too easy to make lazy onesie-focussed decisions because you’ve forgotten that going to the pub, having a proper nice lunch or going to see a film alone is even an option.
don't try this at home
flatmate
I am a constant source of irritation to my flatmates. I hair dyed the bathroom wall, I broke a sofa, I accidentally threw up on some builders, I threw dried rice all over myself and lived for ten months with dried rice under my bed.
vegetarians
My name's Stevie and I'm a vegetarian. Alcoholic would at least conjure romantic images of mental fragility and drug addiction is getting almost boring in its ubiquity. But vegetarians are, y’know. Michael Bolton is a vegetarian.
 
sex
AKA how I tried to get my boyfriend to stop calling me 'Babe' and start calling me 'Fitbiscuit'
don't try this at home
Each week I try the weird beauty DIY homemade shit just for you. Think of my face as a lab, and your eyes as the thing in labs that scientists look through when, y'know, considering microbes.
stevie martin
I'm going to road-test some of magazine land's more crackpot beauty suggestions, just for you...