This is for those of you who roll into boot camps, yoga classes and spinning with an entire face full of makeup and then leave it all on bleached towels like the floor backstage after a drag queen smackdown.
It wouldn’t occur to me to whip out the blue mascara or a purple eye shadow of an evening. I just feel a bit like that sort of behaviour was the preserve of my teenage years and early ‘20s. I’m being an idiot, aren’t I?
When you clean your brushes, you’re not just getting rid of old makeup, but you’re also ridding the brush of (and here’s where things gets real gross): old makeup, dirt, oil, dead skin, and bacteria. I know. I know. Being a human is disgusting.
Here are my favourite products for how I managed it this month, for the month where I have to look glam even though I felt like falling to pieces and my makeup had to stay on my face for up to 18 hours a day.
The study suggests that the time spent applying make-up is a waste of time. One that should be culled in order to spend more time doing other, more worthwhile activities, like, I don't know, fellating your partner more regularly or learning how to make soda bread.
I will (disgustingly) neglect to brush my teeth, I might even go to sleep with my dress (and coat and shoes) still on, after a particularly long evening. But I always, always take my makeup off before I crash out.
My current makeup routine: get on bus, smear foundation liberally over my face, eyebrows and fringe, rub some blusher into my cheeks in the style of Aunt Sally, poke myself in the eye with a liquid eyeliner pen.