OK, so once again I am calling on you, dear commenters of xoJane, to help me sort my life out. Should have figured it out by the age of thirty, right? Team Awkward For The Lose.
In keeping with the awkwardness that colours every aspect of my life, this one’s a social (or socialising) problem. What I want to know is, how do you handle bumping into an ex-friend who done you a grevious wrong?
My particular ex-friend is a former work colleague I sat next to for two months a couple of years ago. We got on well enough that we’d started socialising together outside the office, which culminated in us getting invited backstage a deux after a Snoop Dogg concert, turning his massively over-sized security guard down, and bitching frantically about the rest of the staff while we were at it. A bona fide baby friendship.
Then, DISASTER STRUCK in the form of that music festival where I was nearly sexually assaulted and - whole other story- nearly run over by a well-known indie band. Even without those particular incidents, the festival didn’t go well.
I speech impedimented my way through an on-camera interview with a minor chart star, tweeted about the torrential rain (thus risking offending the magazine’s all-important advertisers), and missed another interview altogether after being almost assaulted.
And, long story short, my now ex-friend, who was in charge of all the editorial staff over the course of the festival - and was desperately trying to deflect attention from her own ineptitude - got me sacked.
I’ve since had an apology from the magazine in question, but never from her. A fact that rankles all the more when my husband, who still works with her, tells me that she asks about me All. The. Time.
Dublin is very small. More like a village than a major city, in that everyone who lives here knows someone who knows everyone else. Usually, I love that about it. But now that I’ve found out that my ex-friend's social life and mine are starting to converge again, so there’s no way I won’t bump into her one drunken evening.
Clearly, I’m less than thrilled. I need to know how to handle things when I see her. There’s no way I could be friends with her again. When I tell someone to “fuck off and die”, as she effectively did to my career, I mean it. If the world was flooded with piss and she owned the only tree, I still wouldn’t bother.
I don’t even really know if it's friendship, or merely us being back on civil terms, is what she wants. But is it OK to voice that to her?
Am I better off reverting to type and either pulling a full-on Garbo sulk while she’s around, or making nice and just saying “hi” and pretending bygones are bygones?
I’m really keen to try out a technique I once used on a similarly treachorous ex-boyfriend wherein I answered every question he asked with positive “my life fucking rocks” type responses, and never asked a single one about him, all the better to deflate his ego.
Have you been in a similar situation? What did you do? And, more importantly, what the fuck should I do? Let me know below, or on Twitter @AlisandeF.