Can This Pun-tastic New Lip Product Go The Distance Against My Favourite Lunch?

I decided to put Rimmel’s Apocalips to the test in the harshest way I know how – by eating Japanese Canteen’s delicious duck noodle soup

Mar 8, 2013 at 12:00pm | Leave a comment

As you may know, I love a bright lip. Red (MAC’s Russian Red in particular) and fuchsia are my favourite shades and I’ve been wearing one or the other, both day and night, for around 10 years.

The problem with lipstick is that you do have to reapply during the day to keep it looking sharp. You should use a lip pencil to stop it bleeding beyond the lip line too, but I’m too lazy to do that, so by the end of the day my lips look smudgy and dry, with the last vestiges of the morning’s bright colour clinging desperately to random patches. Nice.

So I decided to put Rimmel’s new Apocalips (£5.99, boots.com) to the test in the harshest way I know how – by eating Japanese Canteen’s delicious duck noodle soup, which I have once a week as a special treat.

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10:15am: Just applied Rimmel Apocalips (do you like the MySpace-esque selfie?)

The deal with this product is that it's a 'lip lacquer' - a new category that sits somewhere between lipgloss and lipstick. The point of these is they are incredibly pigmented so a tiny dot goes a loooong way and they have a creamy, conditioning formula which feels really nice to wear - unlike lipsticks which can feel drying. They're also shiny (hence 'lacquer'), but not tacky like a gloss (hair stuck in lipgloss is one of my greatest fears, along with single magpies.)

I went for 303 Apocaliptic – a hot pink (I’ve been searching for the perfect fuchsia since Bourjois stopped doing theirs and this is close). I applied it with the sponge-tip applicator, which has a reservoir in the centre that holds plenty of product, so you don’t have to keep shoving it back in the tube for more gunk.

The rules of the trial: I applied the product once (at 10:15am) and I wasn’t allowed to retouch or reapply all day, or add lip balm to refresh the colour.

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THE APOCALIPS IS UPON US!

And gunk it is, my friends, messy, sticky, gloopy gunk. Essentially you are coating your lips with gloss paint. But you know what? I don’t care. The colour is so intense and rich, and it dries down to a shiny-looking but not sticky-feeling consistency which is way better than any lipgloss.

My favourite noodles are messy. I have to cover my keyboard with a napkin, tuck another into my shirt like a bib and tie my hair back to reduce the splatter effect and allow me to dig my greedy, snuffling little snout deep into the cardboard container.

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WOT?

Apart from dabbing away the soup from all over my face with a huge piece of kitchen paper, I didn't interfere with the lip product and see, it stayed put! It wasn't quite as glossy as when I first applied it, but the pigment had sunk into my lips, staining it so the colour appeared as strong as ever.

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2:30pm: After lunch

Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics also do a great lip lacquer called Lip Tar (£15, cultbeauty.co.uk) which I've written about before. So in conclusion, I think lip lacquers are a great addition to the beauty scene - the intensity of the colours and longevity makes up for the slight messiness in application and for a lazy person like me, they're a great option (especially on noodle days...)