Age: Older than sin

Twitter: @peachesanscream

What I Do, Job-wise: Swap words for money. Play about on Twitter.

What I Do, Fun-wise: Swap words for money. Play about on Twitter. Collect taxidermy and pictures of strangers found in charity shops. Drink gin at The Dolphin Pub and Jaeger Bombs at Clapham Infernos. Surf Craigslist for weirdos and Gumtree for unwanted pets.

My Motto: Crying doesn't solve anything, unless you've got something in your eye.

My Anti-Motto: A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play (really, it leads to diabetes)

The First Movie Star I Ever Had A Crush On: Mouth aka Corey Feldman in The Goonies

My “celebs to make out with” list: Mark Ronson, Ryan Gosling, Rhodri Marsden

The Most Played Song On My iTunes: My Name is Trouble by Keren Ann

Last Book I Read Without Skimming Any Parts: Submarine by Joe Dunthorne.

My Most Worn Item of Clothing: Denim shirt. It covers soup spills, arm fat and a multitude of other sins.

Beauty Products That I Hoard: Stubs and stubs of black eyeliner. Seriously, if there was an apocalypse and we were sent to the fallout shelters we'd be fine for charcoal for the next 30 years.

I smell like: Michael by Michael Kors, sweat and fountain pen ink.

I Have Faked An Orgasm (Yes/No): No. If I'm invited to the party I'm not leaving until I've had a good time. Even if that means I'm there until 5am, throw up in my own hair and pass out of someone's sofa.