What I Do, Job-wise: I work for a super-rad website in the Silicon Valley. Specifically, I wrangle a group of freelancers into using good grammar and shout a lot about reproductive rights at my poor, hapless coworkers.
What I Do, Fun-wise: I’m currently in training to be San Francisco’s slowest, saddest half-marathoner. I also write erotic poetry about stone fruit and eat more burritos than most people.
My Motto: “Just watched Casablanca. They could’ve just had a threesome and solved everything. People are dumb.”
My Anti-Motto: “Horses sweat, men perspire, and women glow.”
The First Movie Star I Ever Had A Crush On: Many bikini-clad female professional wrestlers; Leann Rimes
My “Celebs to Make out with” List: Benedict Cumberbatch, Retta, Jenny Lewis, Emma Stone, Nicki Minaj, Andrew Garfield, Jad Abumrad, Matt Smith, Donald Glover, Greta Salpeter, Mike Birbiglia
The Most Played Song On My iTunes: “Going to Port Washington,” The Mountain Goats
Last Book I Read Without Skimming Any Parts:Jitterbug Perfume, by Tom Robbins
My Most Worn Item of Clothing: Shiny silver moon boot high-tops from Buffalo Exchange
Beauty Products That I Hoard: Red Sephora lipstick that I am forever losing
I smell like: Kale, deodorant, "Jezebel" by Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, and mild anxiety
I Have Faked An Orgasm (Yes/No): No, but I have pretended that a dude was Captain Kirk in order to get there.