I love watching Seinfeld, eating Turkish delight and singing Destiny's Child on karaoke. When I was little, I thought I'd grow up to be really tall, quiet and studious. But I'm 5ft 5in, generally the noisiest, crudest person in the pub and spend my time reading women's mags and thinking up filthy puns. But when I was little I thought being Polly Pocket was also a job, so you live and learn. When I'm not hanging out with my boyfriend in our freezing cold flat in Brixton, I can be found painting silly designs on my nails, going to watch films in the Ritzy, or drinking Red Stripe and tearing up the dancefloor in Efes.

Age: 25

Twitter: @helennianias

What I Do, Job-wise: I’m a journalist

What I Do, Fun-wise: Look online at aspirational clothes I’ll never be able to afford, and dance in front of the mirror

My Motto: Changes every week

My Anti-Motto: I think “live for the moment” is the worst advice ever given

The First Movie Star I Ever Had A Crush On: Johnny Bravo. I know he’s a cartoon character, but I’ve always been intrigued by shallow men.

My “celebs to make out with” list: Mark Wright. See above.

The Most Played Song On My iTunes: The Smiths Reel Around The Fountain

Last Book I Read Without Skimming Any Parts: Martha Quest by  Doris Lessing

My Most Worn Item of Clothing: My skinny black BDG jeans. I wear them until they fall apart.

Beauty Products That I Hoard: I have frizzy Greek hair, so any argan-based hair oil, ever.

I smell like: Ginger beer

I Have Faked An Orgasm (Yes/No): Yes, but reluctantly